


endings (but also beginnings)

by minaasshido



Series: six idiots and their skateboards [3]
Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Happy Ending, Kyan Reki is a Ray of Sunshine, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nanjo Kojiro | Joe is a Good Boyfriend, Parental Nanjo Kojiro | Joe, Pre-Relationship, Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom is a Good Boyfriend, Trans Nanjo Kojiro | Joe, because I said so, character study??? maybe idk, fuck adam all my homies hate adam, its mentioned in passing but its necessary to the plot of the fic, joe and cherry had shitty parents, joe calls reki "kid" because i think its adorable, joe is a sentimental idiot, let reki be happy 2k21, matchablossom are already dating and in love, no beta we die like... um..., renga is pre relationship, the tournament happens, these tags are so out of order my god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-22 03:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30032466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minaasshido/pseuds/minaasshido
Summary: "You're-" Reki starts, then stops, rocking back on his heels. "You're you."Kojiro has no clue what that's supposed to mean. "I am?" he agrees, but it comes out sounding like a question.He watches Reki fidget for a moment, clearly struggling to find the words he wants. "Um," he says. He's looking everywhere except his face. "How do you... how do you come out to someone?"
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki, Kyan Reki & Nanjo Kojiro | Joe, Nanjo Kojiro | Joe/Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom
Series: six idiots and their skateboards [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2207952
Comments: 13
Kudos: 422





	endings (but also beginnings)

**Author's Note:**

> tbh the mentions of joe/cherry/adam's past relationship in this can be read as platonic or romantic. i wrote it as platonic but when i was editing i realized how homoerotic i made it sound so however you want to interpret it is fine lmaoo

Sometimes, Kaoru wakes up with Adam's name on his tongue. 

It's never a point of contention between them. Kojiro is a light sleeper, so when his boyfriend jerks awake he's usually quick to follow. He'll blink open his bleary eyes and see Kaoru sitting up next to him, his head in his hand and pink hair covering his face like a curtain. He'll whisper a muffled "Adam" into his palm, bone-tired. And Kojiro understands.

He knows that Kaoru has had a harder time of it, coming to terms with the new Adam. Sometimes he thinks he still hasn't- that he's still holding out hope that maybe their friend is still in there, that he can still be redeemed, that he'll show up at their door and apologize and take everything back. Kojiro can't even blame him for feeling that way, because sometimes, without his own consent, he catches himself thinking about it too. As much as he hates to admit it now, the old Adam had been an important part of his life. He'd been one of the _most_ important parts, because it was always Kojiro-and-Kaoru-and-Adam, a trio. Adam had trusted them enough to show his face. Kojiro had trusted Adam enough in return that he'd pulled up his shirt and shown the twin scars on his chest. Kaoru had kissed the both of them that night, just on the cheek, and though nothing had come of it for a long time, there's always something about that memory that feels like a beginning. 

There are too many other memories involving Adam that feel like endings, though, and it's usually one of those that has Kaoru pressing his forehead against his knees like this.

"Anything I can do?" Kojiro asks. 

Kaoru shakes his head. "I just need a minute," he sighs. Kojiro listens to him breathe for a moment until he adds, "He pisses me off."

"I know," he says. He reaches out, gently pulling his boyfriend closer so that he's leaning against his side. "I miss him too."

They only ever talk about this in the early hours, when its too dark and quiet to be ashamed.

Kojiro is okay with that.

* * * * *

Kojiro is wiping down the counter when the bell above the door chimes. He doesn't even bother looking up- the closed sign is hanging in the window and the lights are dim, and there's only ever one person who'd walk past all that. "Hey, Kao," he says. "You're early."

Kaoru doesn't answer right away. After a few moments of silence, he looks up, brows creased, only to realize why Kaoru hadn't answered. 

"Um," says Reki. "Hi."

Kojiro blinks at him. "We're closed," he tells the teen, because he doesn't know what else to say. 

"Oh, sorry." Reki shuffles his feet and glances at the door. He doesn't move though, and Kojiro thinks he looks a little nervous. 

"Everything alright kid?"

Reki startles at the question before rolling his shoulders in some approximation of a shrug. "You're-" he starts, then stops, rocking back on his heels. "You're you."

Kojiro has no clue what that's supposed to mean. "I am?" he agrees, but it comes out sounding like a question.

He watches Reki fidget for a moment, clearly struggling to find the words he wants. "Um," he says. He's looking everywhere except his face. "How do you... how do you come out to someone?"

It's both unexpected and expected at the same time. Kojiro isn't one to stereotype, but he does like to think his instincts for these kinds of things are pretty good, and Reki's always set them off just a little bit. Well, that and the way he looks at Langa. But Kojiro had never thought that Reki would come to _him_ for advice on the subject. He'd be lying if he said it didn't make something warm and happy swell up in his chest. 

"Oh," he says. "Well, uh, I guess it depends. Who are you trying to come out to?"

Reki's shoulder's slump, the nerves leaking out of him. "Everyone?" he says, wincing. Kojiro's eyes catch on the movement. 

"Why are you asking for advice?" he asks. "Are you afraid people will react badly?" 

"Not really," Reki mumbles, but his fingers tangle together and tap against each other, so he's clearly still somewhat nervous. "I mean- I don't know. Not with you guys at least, cuz you and Cherry are already together and we're all super okay with it. I don't know why I would be any different."

"I'm glad you know that," Kojiro tells him. "It's everyone else, right?" 

Reki bobs his head, the movement stunted and jerky. "Yeah. My family, mostly. I just... I never really talk about this kind of stuff with my mom? So I don't know how she feels about it."

Kojiro has a feeling they might be here a while longer. He gestures with one hand towards the barstools along the counter. "Do you want to sit down?" he asks. 

"Oh, sure," Reki says, shuffling over to take a seat. 

"So," Kojiro continues as the redhead pulls out a stool, "has your mother ever made you think that she _wouldn't_ be okay with something like this?"

Reki shrugs. "Not really. She's really nice and caring and she's never said anything bad about it, and I know she loves me. But I'm still nervous." He scrubs a hand over his face. "I don't know, I feel like it's stupid for me to be worried about this."

"Hey, it's not stupid at all!" Kojiro reaches out to carefully pat Reki on the shoulder. "This is a big deal for you, of course you're going to be nervous. Coming out can be terrifying, even when you rationally know that you have no reason to worry."

"Yeah." Reki lets out a deep breath. 

"And you're sure you don't have any reason to worry?" Kojiro asks. He isn't skeptical- if Reki says his mother is good then he believes him, but he needs to make sure. Sometimes he can't help but worry about the kid. 

"I don't think so?" Kojiro's eyebrows shoot up at the response, and Reki notices. "I mean, rationally I know that my mom will probably be okay with it, but I keep overthinking and then I get anxious and think about- I mean what if I'm wrong and she doesn't? What if it's different when it's her own kid?"

Kojiro squeezes the hand on his shoulder. "If she thinks like that, then she doesn't deserve you as a son. Worst comes to worst, you can always stay with me and Cherry. But from what you've told me about her, it sounds like your mom loves you enough to support you no matter who you are."

Reki looks up at him with big, watery eyes, and Kojiro's heart squeezes in his chest. "You think so?"

"Kid, I know so." Reki cracks a smile and Kojiro moves his hand up from his shoulder to ruffle his hair. Reki swats at his hand, ducking away, but he lets out a little laugh as he does so. 

* * * * *

"Guess who came to me for advice today."

Kaoru lifts his head from where it rests on Kojiro's chest, pressing his chin against his bare skin so that he can look up at him. He has one of his eyebrows raised in a perfect, teasing arch. "Nobody sane, I hope?"

Kojiro rolls his eyes. "Rude," he says. "It was Reki, actually."

The other eyebrow shoots up. "Reki?"

"Yeah." Kojiro traces a pattern on his boyfriend's back as he talks, absentminded. "He wanted advice on how to come out."

"Should you be telling me this?" he asks. 

"He said it was fine." 

Kaoru hums. "Did he say what for?"

Kojiro shrugs as best he can with his back against the mattress. "He didn't mention any specifics, and I didn't want to pry since he was nervous. Figured I'll find out soon enough since he's planning on going through with it anyway."

"How mature of you," Kaoru says, and there's a teasing lilt to his words that makes the corner of Kojiro's mouth twitch upwards. 

"I told him if things go bad he could stay with us."

The playful expression on his boyfriend's face falls into something more serious, more calculating. He stares up at him with those intense eyes like he's looking for something. "Is that a possibility? Things going wrong?"

"He doesn't seem to think so," Kojiro says. He can't help the way his eyes move to look at the wall above Kaoru's head. He's speaking to the cracked paint across the room when he continues, "Sounds like he was just overthinking."

Kaoru shifts, pulling away from his chest. Suddenly there's a hand pressed against his cheek, cupping his jaw, and it guides his head so that it tips back ever so slightly and he's forced to look up at his boyfriend, kneeling above him. "Hey," he says, softly, leaning to the right when Kojiro tries to look away again. "Are _you_ overthinking?"

Kojiro sighs. There's no point trying to hide what Kaoru already knows. "I'm not," he tells him. "I'm probably just projecting."

He's projecting because his initial coming out had been an ending as well as a beginning. The moment he'd told his parents that he wasn't their little girl, but their little boy, he'd ceased to be their little _anything_. He'd been fine in the end- his aunt had taken him in, had accepted him, had even paid for his hormones and bought him new clothes and helped him cut his hair. But that hadn't taken away the pain of losing the love of the two people he'd never thought he would have to live without. 

"Reki's parents aren't your parents," Kaoru reminds him. 

He lets his eyes fall shut with a sigh. "I know," he says. "But I can't help thinking about it."

"You'll never fully stop," Kaoru tells him, because he, too, knows what it's like to be cast aside for something he can't help.

"I know," Kojiro says again.

"Kojiro," Kaoru says, and he brings up his other hand to hold his head in place, pressing their foreheads together. Kojiro can feel when a few strands of hair slip down around them, tickling his shoulders. "He'll be fine."

Kojiro takes a deep breath, and he opens his eyes on the exhale. Kaoru is right there above him, looking at him with those piercing eyes of his. "He'll be fine," Kojiro repeats, and he believes it. 

Kaoru ducks his chin so that he can press their lips together. The kiss is chaste and only lasts a moment, but when Kaoru pulls away, Kojiro still feels like he's taken all the air from his lungs with him. "Love you," he says.

It feels like it's just them, only them, the entire world reduced to just this room, this bed and the blankets and the pillows. Kojiro leans forward, stealing another kiss. This one lasts a little longer. "Love you back."

Kaoru's answering smile is loving and bright and only for him.

* * * * *

A few days later, Kojiro tags along to the skate park with Reki and Langa. He shows them a few tricks and explains the techniques as best he can, sitting back as they enthusiastically attempt to copy them. He has to admit that watching them, it's obvious that Reki has already improved a lot since they had their fight. He's glad that things worked out, because he doesn't think either of them would be smiling this wide over a failed trick if they hadn't.

Miya is there too, playing games on his phone. He does a terrible job of pretending to be disinterested, because Kojiro catches him looking over the top of his phone at the others quite often. Since he's sitting next to him, he also notices each time he dies in his game because of it. 

"You know a lot of moves, don't you?" Kojiro asks, and Miya glances over at him from where he's curled up against the chain link fence. 

"Obviously," he sniffs. 

"Why don't you show some of them to Reki?"

Miya shrugs, turning back to his game- he talks as he plays, fingers tapping the screen with a practiced expertise. "Langa knows most of them anyway. If they really need help, they can ask for it."

Kojiro smiles at the response because it's so very _Miya_ of him to say that. Always feigning indifference, but the fact that he cares about his friends is always present, right there underneath the surface. "That's nice of you," he says. Miya scrunches his nose.

"Whatever," he says, but there's a dusting of pink rising on his cheeks at the compliment. Kojiro kindly pretends not to notice it. 

His attention is pulled back to the other two when a joyous whooping starts up from the direction of the half pipe. Reki's board is upside down on the ground next to him as he jumps up and down, dancing around Langa who is smiling just as big, watching him with a soft, yet excited expression. "I did it!" he yells, and he launches himself at Langa, squeezing him tight and lifting him a couple inches off the ground. Langa jerks in his hold and clamps a hand on his shoulder, trying to hold himself steady as Reki attempts to spin him around. "Did you see that, I did it!"

"I did," Langa says. He stares down at Reki like he's the sun. "Reki, that was amazing."

"You're gonna get back to S in no time, kid," Kojiro tells him. He can't help but grin at the redheads excitement, a sense of accomplishment making the moment seem so much bigger than it really is. 

Reki sets Langa back down on the concrete and kicks his board up into his hands. He's still smiling, big and bright and unashamed. Even Miya pipes up to say, "I fucking knew you were going to get it, it was obvious," and Kojiro thinks that this feels very much like a beginning.

* * * * *

The tournament is an ending.

He can see it on Kaoru's face when he wakes up in the hospital- because Adam put him in the fucking _hospital_ \- and his expression is that of defeat and, terribly, resignation. Like he's known all along, but is only now letting himself believe it.

"He's gone," he says, and his voice breaks at the admission. He doesn't need to say who, because they both know who he means. "I never thought..."

Kojiro clenches his fists. "I can't believe he did that." He's seething, because even if he'd given up hope on Adam long before his boyfriend, he'd never thought that the man would do something of this caliber. To attack the only person who still believed in him, who deep down still held on to the hope that he might be capable of changing back into the person he once was. "I can't believe that bastard. He's lucky I was so focused on getting you to the E.R., or I swear I would've-"

And even though he's the one in the hospital bed, even though he's the one with a concussion and a fractured jaw, Kaoru reaches out and puts his hand on top of Kojiro's, squeezing softly. Like he's the one who needs comfort. "Hey," he says. "I'm okay."

Brown eyes meet gold and Kojiro can't help but worry his lower lip between his teeth. "Are you, though?"

Kaoru sighs. "I think I've known for a long time that our Adam was gone," he says. He squeezes Kojiro's hand again, and he turns his hand over, palm up, so he can thread their fingers together and squeeze back. "It just hurt too much to admit it."

Kojiro brings their hands up to his face so he can kiss the back of his boyfriend's. "You always were the better one, of us two," he says into the skin there. He's smiling as he speaks but it feels sad, wistful. Kaoru shakes his head. 

"I was naïve." Kojiro opens his mouth to argue, but Kaoru holds up his other hand to keep him quiet. "No, stop it. I was. I was wishing for a dream that wasn't real anymore. You knew, and you let me believe because I needed to. But I think that now it's time I stopped playing pretend." 

There's silence between the two of them for a moment. Kojiro kisses the back of Kaoru's hand again, squeezing his fingers tight. "I love you." He says it forcefully, like it's an undebatable fact. "And even though you can be an asshole, you're too kind. But when I see him again I'm going to lay him out on the dirt with my fist."

Kaoru laughs wetly. He leans back against the pillows, moves his head so that he's staring at the ceiling. "I know," he says, because of course he does- he knows Kojiro maybe better than he knows himself. His lip wobbles, just a bit, and he clenches his jaw to make it stop. "I'll look away when you do."

* * * * *

Reki comes to the restaurant about a week after the tournament. He's alone, hands shoved in his pockets, smiling apologetically because it's after closing time. "Hey."

Kojiro looks up from where he's sweeping a pile of crumbs into the dustpan. "Hey, kid. What's up?"

He gets a shrug in return. "How's Cherry?" he asks. 

"Better." Kaoru had been released from the hospital after a few days once the staff realized there was no way in hell they'd be able to keep him there. "He's pissed cuz he's only allowed to eat soft food until his jaw heals."

"Oof." Reki makes a face. "My mom makes a really good pudding, do you think he'd want some?"

Kojiro can't help but smile at the offer. "I'm sure he'd appreciate it."

"Cool," Reki says. He bobs his head, rocks back on his heels. He glances around the shop and lifts himself up on his tiptoes. "So."

Kojiro raises an eyebrow. "So?" he prompts.

Reki drops back down to his normal height, feet flat on the ground. "I came out to my mom." Kojiro's eyes bug out.

"Really? How did it go?" He can't help the nervous flutter in his stomach, but Reki's hesitant smile quells his anxiety somewhat.

"It went okay," he says. "She had a lot of questions, and I think she's still getting used to the idea, but." That hesitant smiles turns into something more genuine. "She was really supportive. Said that as long as I'm happy and healthy, that's all she cares about."

Kojiro smiles back at him, all teeth. "That's awesome, kid!" He sets the dustpan on one of the stools so he can walk over and wrap and arm around Reki's shoulders, squeezing tight. Reki squawks and tries to pull away. "Told you it'd be okay."

"Yeah, okay _dad_ ," Reki rolls his eyes, but he's still smiling so Kojiro just laughs. 

"Don't sass me," he says. He wags a finger for emphasis, which Reki pushes out of the way. "Seriously, though," he says, sobering up a little. "I'm glad it went okay."

Reki bites his lip in an attempt to keep his grin from getting even bigger. It doesn't work. "Yeah, me too."

"So are you thinking about coming out to the rest of the group?"

The redhead pulls out his phone, showing it off. "Yeah, actually." He looks a little sheepish. "I was uh... I kinda wanted to wait so you could be there."

And damn it, Kojiro thinks he's tearing up. That's so... that's so fucking _cute_. Reki trusts him enough to confide in him, and he trusts him enough to want him there for support when he comes out to their friends. He has to try really hard to resist the urge to sweep the kid up in a suffocating hug. "Wow, I'm honored," is what he says. He's grinning, feeling like a proud father. "I think this calls for a celebration, huh? I've got some ice cream in the freezer."

He doesn't miss the way Reki perks up at the mention of ice cream. "I haven't done it yet, though."

Kojiro waves him off, already moving behind the counter so he can get to the back room. "I'm grabbing it in preparation! Are you doing it over text?" Reki nods. "Then you type out the message, I'll bring the ice cream out, and when you hit send we can dig in."

He moves to the back as Reki hunches over his phone. He grabs the ice cream from the freezer and two spoons from the drying rack. He contemplates bowls for a few second before deciding that it would just be easier to eat right out of the container, and that it's more fun that way anyway. He also definitely does not spend a good thirty seconds smiling down at the spoons in his hand like a complete idiot. 

When he walks back out, Reki is staring down at his screen with a look of pure anticipation. His hands are in his lap, fingers picking at each other. He looks up when Kojiro approaches, watching him set down the ice cream and pull off the lid. He walks around the counter, sticking the spoons into the container as he pulls out the stool next to Reki. 

"You ready?" 

Reki takes a deep breath. He nods. "Yeah." He lifts his hand, finger hovering over the send button. "Yeah, I am."

He hits send.

Kojiro's phone buzzes. He pulls it out. 

**4 slimes, a villager, and Miya**

**Reki:** hey guys, just wanted to let you all know that im bi as fuck

Kojiro bursts out laughing. "Really?" he says, breathless, and Reki grins back at him, trying and failing to hold back his own giggles. Kojiro shakes his head, but when he rolls his eyes it's fond. "Honestly, I don't think I expected anything different."

"Hey, that was a heartfelt message!" Reki protests. "I thought long and hard about that!" 

"I'm sure you did," Kojiro teases him, but he pats him on the back as they looks back to their phones to see the replies. 

**Cherry:** Thank you, I'm glad you trust us enough to share this information. I support you 100%

 **Miya:** if anyone gives u shit for this i'll kick them in the fkn face

 **Reki:** violent but supportive i love it

 **Shadow:** what miya said, anyone has a problem with you they have to go through me

 **Langa:** im glad you told us

 **Langa:** im gay as well by the way

 **Langa:** have you come out to your family yet?

Reki nearly drops his phone when the texts from Langa come through, and Kojiro has to stifle a laugh. "Oh my god," he whispers, reverent, to himself. "Oh my god."

"You alright there?" Kojiro asks. There must be something in his voice because Reki blushes scarlet and promptly hides his face in his arms. His response of "Shut up," is muffled by his sleeve. Kojiro just grins.

 **Miya:** wow langa way 2 steal to spotlight

 **Langa:** ah. i apologize that was not my intent 

**Reki:** no no its fine!! im glad you told us too :)  
**Reki:** and i did, my mom was pretty supportive

**Cherry:** Agreed. 

**Miya:** well if were doing this shit rn then ig i should say that idk what i am but i know its not fkn straight  
**Miya:** do w that info what u will 

**Cherry:** I'm glad your family was supportive as well, that's great. 

**Reki:** this group chat is literally just a gsa at this point 

**Shadow:** does this make me the token straight friend 

**Reki:** OMG IM CRYING IT DOES  
**Reki:** shadow be like: im rolling with the lgbt 

**Shadow:** i'm honored  
**Shadow:** joe you've been suspiciously quiet do we need to beef 

**Me:** I'm with Reki right now, actually. We had the convo in person 

**Miya:** this is favoritism 

Kojiro reaches out to grab a spoon, scooping some ice cream into his mouth. He watches Reki startle, having forgotten it was there, before doing the same. He sends one last text the the chat before turning off his phone.

**Me:** I'm proud of you, kid. 

He watches Reki grin around his spoon as he gets the notification.

 _Yeah,_ Kojiro thinks. _This definitely feels like a beginning._

**Author's Note:**

> me, watching episode 9: the picture of joe cherry and adam shattering when adam hits cherry is symbolic of cherry finally being forced to fully accept that the adam he was friends with is gone and that he doesn't care about them anymore, and whatever love he still had for adam literally shattered
> 
> im F I N E (no im not)
> 
> ANYWAYYYY this turned out a lot different than i expected but in a good way??? like joe and cherry are literally so in love my teeth hurt. also reki 100000% sees joe as a father figure and theyre so fluffy like yes give me that found family shit


End file.
